John 20:19-31
“Doubtful”
April 11, 2021
There was once a defendant on trial for murder. There was a lot of evidence that would made it seem very likely that he was guilty. The problem was that there was no corpse. When the defendant’s lawyer made his closing statement, expecting that his client was probably going to be convicted he decided to try one last tactic.
He said, “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all.” The lawyer than took a look down at his watch and announced, “Within one minute, the person who was presumed to be dead in this case is going to walk into this courtroom.”
The lawyer then looked right at the door to the courtroom. The jurors were taken aback and followed his gaze and stared at the door. After a full minute of silent staring, nothing happened. The lawyer then stated, “Actually, I made up that previous statement. But all of you looked with anticipation. Therefore, I contend that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed. I insist that you return a not guilty verdict.
The jury left the courtroom very confused and went to deliberate. Only a few minutes later they came back and announced the verdict – “Guilty.” The defendant’s lawyer asked, “But how? There had to be some doubt because I saw all of you stare at the door.”
The jury foreman answered, “Oh, we looked, but your client didn’t.” (as told in Homileticsonline.com)
We all have doubts – some have huge ramifications. Consider those folks who for the past year doubted the seriousness and life-threatening nature of the Coronavirus – some right up until it took the life of someone they loved.
While other doubts help us keep a grip on reality – like doubting that any day now you will win a multimillion-dollar lottery and be living out the rest of your earthly days on easy street.
Here we have the Resurrected Jesus – one who does not dwell on doubt or the past or the hurts that he certainly experienced with these disciples who abandoned him and locked themselves away in fear. Instead, Jesus is looking forward. He is commissioning them in his own way, sending them out into the world and a future that is much more life-affirming than the doubts they may be holding onto. He greets them in peace, and he proclaims that forgiveness is the secret to getting past fear and doubt.
How appropriate in this year when the breaths we take have been masked and yet treasured and measured by caregivers – breaths that we do not see and yet fill the spaces around us – that it is the breathing on of Jesus that ushers in a new humanity. A world of perfect peace or shalom. A world of forgiveness.
Forgiveness. Such a powerful concept. Forgiving the sins of others allows them to no longer wield power. To even have just a single person forgive you for something that has been eating away at you, that you harbor tremendous guilt about, is to allow you to begin to forgive yourself and start anew. As writer Anne Lamott put it, “Forgiveness is giving up all hope of having had a better past.”
Jesus is modeling such forgiveness by offering all these beloved ones a look to the future instead of dwelling on all of the ways they failed him leading up to and through his crucifixion. He repeatedly offers the kind of peace that comes from forgiveness.
The doubts on the part of Thomas are known by Jesus. We don’t know, however, if he actually puts his fingers in the wounds.
As much as Thomas’ name has been dragged through the mud of history, he is no different from any of us who yearn for proof. There are some who point to the symbolism that Thomas’ name in Aramaic translates to “Twin” and that we are his twin challenging Jesus who is representing God here. And it is belief in that which is unseen and yet ever present that we are being invited into.
Resurrection is not any one tangible idea or a case that somehow will be proved. It is a way of life. It is the newness that comes with letting go of what was and looking ahead to what will be. With it comes a belief that still has room for doubts.
The belief that Jesus proclaims here is aspirational – it is our life’s work. A faith without some measure of doubt is too neat and clean. Jesus is sending these disciples out to take action in a world that will be hard and hostile toward faith – a lot like our own.
Our doubts coupled with our faith are what keeps us searching for ways to love as Jesus loves.
As Frederick Buechner offered, “Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep it awake and moving.”
With that breath of Jesus, they were able to move from fear and isolation in that locked room and went out into the world testifying to God’s power.
They reached out with generosity. They shared their possessions. They moved through difficult times with the knowledge of God’s grace upon them.
We, too, have forgiveness and love powering us up with the strength to know that belief may have doubt along for the ride but that, we too, have so much to share.
May we carry then these words of the final stanza of a new hymn from Stephen Fearing with us:
Why must doubt be such a bad thing –
seeking what we do not know?
It can help us journey forward; after all, it’s how we grow!
Faith is found in doubtful moments,
times when we cannot believe.
Christ will find us all regardless, more than we could e’er conceive.
Amen.